Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Ad nauseum and nauseum

One of the most tiresome things about being an atheist is the coming out process. At least some homosexuals are obviously gay. They are out as soon as they open their mouths. Atheists, unless we're wearing that hip new "A" have to tell everyone. Sometimes more than once.

For instance, Monday night I apparently came out to my wife. Again. The fourth or fifth time. When we were dating, and I said I didn't think I believed in god, she was upset. She got over it. Apparently, by forgetting it. When we were going through the marriage training, and I said I didn't believe in god, she was upset, but she got over it. Apparently by forgetting. Then about a year ago, when our daughter was born, I actually said the word "atheist". Again, she got over it, and you can guess how. During the provincial election, again, I said I was an atheist. That was about six or seven weeks ago. I publicly said on more than one occasion that I was an atheist. It was relevant because of the catholic schools thing. I said it to her, explaining the word, and what I believed. Apparently she got over it again. Here it is, a month and a half later, and I'm bitching about the Golden Compass things (again, a catholic schools issue), and I let it slip that I'm an atheist.

Not only is she upset, she's offended. She's upset that I don't believe in god, like it's an insult to her. And she half accuses me of keeping this a secret: "That's not what you said to the priest when we got married."

I had to declare my faith in a questionnaire during marriage prep. I think I said I was a Taoist. It made sense at the time. Later, Buddhism seemed more appealing, but I never got beyond reading about it. Agnosticism seemed to me to be a bit of a copout. I've opted for a weak atheist position: in the absence of evidence, there's no god.

This isn't really apropos, but I can't resist it. He looks like
Magilla Gorilla or something.

So how do I deal with this? In theory, if this is really a big issue for her (and I can see it being one), she can request an annulment. Before she does, however, I have some questions about the rhythm method I'd like to ask a priest. I'd better get on that.

However, she seems fairly
happy today. Has she forgotten again? Having these kinds of discussions are tiring. They're difficult. I have to try to be as gentle as possible when I explain my own lack of faith, and not attack hers. Especially when I believe that religious faith is useless, at best, and harmful, more often.

And worse, I've promised her that my daughter will be raised catholic. It's going to be very tough on Mickie and Tasha when Mickie gets to be five or six.

How do you tell your little girl that her mother suffers from a delusion?

Again, not particularly relevant, but I like it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You respect her idiotic faith, why can't she learn the tolerance to respect yours?