Jihad

Still settling into new duties. Those bastards are actually making me work!

However, I'm still sneaking onto the tubes to keep an eye on the "conservatives" and jeebnuts, and also to get my daily dose of godlessness. Fortunately, my coworkers are heathens, too, so I'm occasionally able to make fun of god in the course of my daily activities. When I do it at home (as I did the other night), I broke my wife's heart. Again, we were on the brink of divorce. It was because we were talking about wafergate.

PZ Myers almost destroyed my marriage. I'll bet you thought you'd never read that sentence. In fact, I can't imagine that you ever actually thought about it.

So today, rather than try to corral some volunteers to cover our front desk, I decided to see what my favourite jeebnuts at Christian Worldview Network were freaking out about today. It's jihad.

If I understand correctly, jihad means struggle. It specifically applies to the individual Muslim and his or her struggle to stay right with god (and their god is kinda bitchy, so you wanna stay on his sunshiney side). But it is often applied more broadly, to mean the struggle of Islam in the greater world: a holy war, if you will. In my opinion, Islam means submission, so Islam ought to just submit.

But nobody asked me.

But back to the jeebnuts. Here's the crisis, in all its panty-twisting details:

When my husband and I moved to the Memphis area a few years ago, one of the first things on my lengthy “to-do” list was to subscribe to the local daily newspaper, The Commercial Appeal (CA). As an avid reader, I appreciate this quiet, “unplugged” method of staying current on a wide variety of issues and events.

A few weeks ago, I was reading the editorial page; as usual, I looked down for the Bible verse that always appeared in the lower left corner. To my amazement, the Bible verse had been replaced by a verse from the Qu’ran. The following day, a Saturday, a verse from the Talmud was inserted. On Sunday, I was relieved to see the Bible quoted, but I had a suspicion that has proved correct: On Fridays, a Muslim holy day, our local paper now features a verse from the Qu’ran, and on Saturdays, the Jewish Sabbath (Shabbat), they print a verse from the Talmud.

The horror! What the hell happened? (And what the hell kind of name is that for a newspaper? Kinda puts the focus right out front, without any pretense.)

Although I suspect this is a case of Political Correctness (PC) run amok, I can offer no evidence; multiple emails to the CA Editor, Chris Peck, have remained unanswered. I asked that the CA discontinue printing verses from the Qu’ran. I suggested more careful editing; at least one verse from the Bible and one from the Qu’ran were taken out of context, twisting their meanings beyond recognition. I provided a short list of Qu’aranic verses that reveal awareness of and respect for God’s previous revelations – the Law, the Gospel, and Jesus. Whether these verses that support Judaism and
Christianity will be printed remains to be seen.

Oh, well, if that's all then. I can get back to the Jumble.

Muslims and their PC defenders will tell you there is no cause for concern. They will insist that Allah and the God of the Bible are the same. Numerous verses in the Qu’ran refute that idea, for they describe characteristics of Allah that are opposed to those claimed by God. Although many verses refer to Jesus, Muslims do not believe He was crucified for our sins or that He rose again; neither do they accept that He is our Savior and our God.

Oh. My. God. People from another religion have different beliefs! How the fuck did this get past me? Who's in charge here?

...Perhaps you think that Jihad refers to the internal struggles that Muslims experience as they mature in their faith. However, Jihad also refers to the struggles Muslims are asked to participate in and promote within a much wider arena. According to Mawlana Sayid Abul Ala Mawdudi, an Indian who is regarded as one of Islam’s great scholars:

Islam is not a normal religion like the other religions in the world, and Muslim nations are not like normal nations. Muslim nations are very special because they have a command from Allah to rule the entire world and to be over every nation in the world. Islam is a revolutionary faith that comes to destroy any government made by man. The goal of Islam is to rule the entire world and submit all of mankind to the faith of Islam. Any nation or power that gets in the way of that goal, Islam will fight and destroy. In order to fulfill that goal, Islam can use every power available every way it can be used to bring worldwide revolution. This is Jihad.

'Cause Christians have always peacefully coexisted with their neoighbours, and would never resort to violence or forcible conversions. Ever. Nor would they ever call for god's law to usurp the laws of man. Hey, kettle? The pot is on line one.

As Americans, we have an obligation and a desire to accept the foreigners in our midst, to demonstrate our values, including freedom, education for all, respect for women, equal treatment under the law, and a clear line between government and religion. Whether Muslims absorb or even appreciate these demonstrations is
unclear. It has been my observance that they prefer to remain apart. In the Memphis area, according to an article in the CA, Muslims are laying the
groundwork for a large complex that will include a mosque, recreational
facilities, and a community center.

Can't even begin to address the hypocrisy here. It's too fucking rich. But at the end, that last sentence? It's too fucking sweet. "In the Memphis area, according to an article in the CA, Muslims are laying the groundwork for a large complex that will include a mosque, recreational facilities, and a community center." Are you kidding me? The fact that they want to build a mosque and community centre is cause for alarm? You know what the C stands for in YMCA?

Thought so. Shut the fuck up, you bigoted bitch.

But the best is yet to come. How does she suggest you defend against the infidels?

More importantly, pray about these issues. We know that only God will be able to change the hearts of those who oppose Him. Nevertheless, we are to be His instruments. Loving our neighbors means doing what is best for them in a gracious manner. If we have Muslim neighbors, let’s do what we can to become acquainted, to help them learn about our values, and to show them Christ in our lives.

Right... Right... Right...

Christian Jihad.