Saturday, July 26, 2008

God v. My Libido

When you read this, assuming all has gone to plan, I will be sitting in a pew at a Baptist Church, awaiting the o'erhasty marriage of a young woman to a young man.

Why o'erhasty you ask? Well first, I saw Hamlet last weekend:

...He tells me, my dear Gertrude, he hath found
The head and source of all your son's distemper.

I doubt it is no other but the main,
His father's death and our o'erhasty marriage.
I like the word, and I like to give the PTGHWAC to Shakespeare when I think of it.

Second, the young lady in question is 20, her boyfriend one year older, and she is not yet done school. In fact, she has at least three years left to complete her degree if my latest intelligence is correct.

Third, I don't think the two are that well suited to each other. They're small town, but she wants more (sometimes), and he's cool with living in Hicksville. They're both naive, they're both kinda smart (but not really in any useful way), and they're both terribly immature.

And finally, they are, in essence, marrying themselves, which amplifies their weaknesses, and adds little to their strengths.

And though I am related to one of them (I shan't tell you which), this isn't sour grapes, or the proprietary reaction that you sometimes get when family gets married. I just don't really think this is a good idea. I won't stand up when (if) the pastor asks, but I have my doubts. In fact, I'm watching another o'erhasty marriage go through a rough time, and it doesn't bode well for the newlyweds.

So why are they getting married, you ask?

Pure and simple. I'll bet they're horny as hell, and they simply can't wait to fuck.

So why don't they fuck? Because they're Baptists.

Baptists carry around a lot of sexual baggage. A lot of baggage in general, but most of it is related in some way to crotches. I was led to believe not that the original sin was disobedience, but fucking. Seriously. And I went to this church when I was young.

I've said before that my atheism is pretty emotional, rather than logical, and this is a good example. I often felt bad about my penis, about playing with it, about wanting to use it for more than pissing, about erections, about the unnatural desires (I honestly thought they were unnatural!) it engendered. For me sex was supposed to be a necessary evil, and it was the Devil, not God, that made it feel so good.

Yeah, I know. It's pretty messed up.

But I'm out of the woods now. My libido weathered the storms, survived the scarring, and is healthy and happy. My penis is relatively unscathed. In short, I like to fuck.

I never could understand a god that would make people essentially fall from grace as soon as they reached puberty.

Good luck, kids. You're going to need it.

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